Last night I was so sure of myself, so sure that my hunger pains had gone and my cravings were a thing of the past, I made West dinner. Not for myself and him, mind you, but just him. Since I've been not eating, he's been....eating convenience food. I thought it was time he eat something nutritious lol so I decided to make him chicken pizzas. We had planned this meal a few weeks ago and never ate it so the dough was going to go bad if someone didn't do something with it. I made him one little pizza with BBQ sauce, chicken, cheese, bacon and ham. The other one I made with Alfredo sauce, chicken, and bacon. I didn't sneak a bite of anything and was pretty damn proud of myself....in fact I didn't even want it!
Today however, was a completely different story. It was my fault. I promised a friend I would go to his sons baseball game. In the morning I completely forgot to pack extra lemonade and by about 7pm I was STARVING. I started complaining to West to which he started trying to convince me it would be ok to eat. Telling me I'd lasted this long, it's ok, how he hates to see me miserable etc. plus we've been bickering like siblings lately and he thinks its because I'm tense from not eating lol so he spent a good 30 min trying to convince me to eat something. I was at a cracking point. I REALLY wanting to eat something, anything, ANYTHING. West decided we should go to Arby's for dinner. I got up to the counter, West placed his order and then looked at me. I stared at the menu...good god I want everything...turnovers, roast beef sandwiches, even a salad looked good...oh and then there were the french fries. Man oh man.
Then that little voice inside my head reminded me that I only had a precious few days left and I had come so far to give up now. Then it additionally reminded me how sick I'd probably be if the first thing I picked after days of no solid food was a big greasy cheese roast beef burger. I shook my head and told him I didn't want anything and West rolled his eyes. We sat down as West ate this amazing looking sandwhich in front of me and started offering bets. $100 for a bite, $200 for a bite, $400 if I would just eat something. Nope. Not a thing. My willpower stood strong and as my mouth watered for just a part of his potatoe cake....I turned my head and decided I was not going to eat anything. I'm sure he was either joking around or sincerely is worried because I'm not eating anything but in either case...it was a test!
I abruptly drove home and pounded about half a liter of water. Ahhhh much better. On to day 9!
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